We all have a primary love language we consciously express to our lovers. How we receive gifts, spend quality time, express words of affirmation. This all informs others of the nature of our love linguistics.
Is there value in exploring and nurturing how we express our language of love?
We may express what we want from a relationship, but what are we prepared to give?
Below are eight buzzphrases I’ve learned that help me when I’m having a hard time relating in a giving way
1. “I Feel”
How we express what we are feeling in any given moment is vital to maintaining emotional equilibrium within a relationship.
Understanding and honoring how we feel will help keep irritation and communication break downs at bay.
2. “I Understand”
Empathy is non judgemental. It requires a major shift in perspective. When people challenge our integrity it can be difficult to respond empathically.
Emotional empathy is empowering and liberating as it affords relief from fault, blame and judgement.
3. “I See You”
The process of careful observation affords insight. Too often we focus on expressions of upset and pain and fail to observe how our own communication is purposing more of the same.
Make the effort to see from another’s perspective. Time spent observing through the life lens of our lover empowers our emotional perception awareness.
4. “Would You Be Willing To Consider…”
Creating harmony and balance within relationships requires collaboration.
Learning how to negotiate fairly. Being able to express wants and needs and hearing another’s wants and needs to arrive at middle ground consensus should not be a battle. Collaborate with reflective diplomacy and be willing to be considerate.
5. “I Hear You…” or “What I’m Hearing Is…”
Interest in our partners emotional world when they share their experiences will show them we have a strong desire to know and learn from them. This propagates intimacy. Sharing to be known. Listening with curiosity.
6. “I Need…”
Separating our wants and desires from our needs is vital. Knowing the difference affords us relief when our needs aren’t being met by our partner.
Lowering our expectations in the ‘needy’ department and becoming more familiar with our necessities is key. Neglecting needs will only result in a ‘wants’ cover up. Invite support.
7. “I Know…”
Impeccability of word within relationships can be challenging, especially when we are faced with emotional reactivity in a partner and we don’t know what the ‘right’ answer is. In moments like this, we strive to authenticate our truth. Our truth may not be someone else’s. Such is the nature of hearsay.
8. “I Would Like…”
Requests are an expression of gifts desired. When we speak with clarity when making requests, precisely making clear our requests, we relieve the burden of expectation.